Only a mothe r could love this liver
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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