Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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