Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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