we have pet lesbian snakes
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
