i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
