i jhust puked up my retainher.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
