Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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