**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
