honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
is it fun? or sober?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
