Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
