Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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