i just wanna soil my oats bro
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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