I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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