we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
