It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my shit smells like andre
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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