I just cut my nipple shaving
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
