its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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