Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
