the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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