dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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