i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
farters have to be the big spoon...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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