I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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