Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
