I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
