Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We are two peas in an std pod
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
