these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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