If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
