nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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