I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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