My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
