Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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