conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm just crazy horny about you
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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