i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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