Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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