Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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