so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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