She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
