Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
