even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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