Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize