$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
