i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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