I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
