don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
