Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dick very happy bro
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
