She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
