omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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