there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You pole danced in your parka.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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