Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i dont even know how to be here
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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