I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
