The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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